he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
