Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You are the jesus of drinking
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
