I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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