He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
