Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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