Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
