Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
