garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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