every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize