It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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