I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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