you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
