He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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