Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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