Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
