so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
