the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
