I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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