so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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