Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
