wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
