What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
