She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
