He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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