My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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