is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
