I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize