Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
