There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize