Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize