I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
