Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
