I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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