I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
