Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize