I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Actions speak louder than pants.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
