I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
