So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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