jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
