Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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