I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize