She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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