smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
