Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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