whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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