I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
