Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
