hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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