Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
