hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
