How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
