Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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