We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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