.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just googled if crying burns calories
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize