Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize