She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
