# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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