New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
