im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
